Jealousy...it's a curse

My little baby bird loves pandas, and these little guys are just too cute.  She is in pain today so I am hoping to make her smile a little.

There are a million little things that you have the opportunity to learn as a parent.  Chaos and Mayhem teach me things about themselves, their world and myself daily.  I am not your typical parent apparently...I was told this last night by bigger baby bird and I take that as a compliment. 

I rarely speak of my separation and the person that was once my husband.  I do this for many reasons, most of them because there is a level of dignity in not becoming cliched and whinging about the 'evil ex'....because I am sure that I am 'the evil ex' in their world.  But you hurt my baby birds and I get really angry.  I will not rant about this incident, but the thought pattern that occurred afterwards.

Mothering and parenting Chaos and Mayhem is the biggest joy and frustration that I have ever experienced.  Nothing could have prepared me for the amount of time, energy and resources that I have needed to raise two babies into well-balanced adults (and I am not there yet...).  I am far from perfect, I make mistakes ALL the time.  I raise them with humour, love and I never take them for granted.  I am always thinking three steps ahead, where I can, and watch their growth with wonder and amazement.

I get to see them everyday and I am the person they bring their problems to.  They cry and laugh with me.  I am their confidant and advisor.  I hold their hands when they are sick. I get to watch them in their successes and guide them through their stumbles.  I kiss and hug them every chance that I get.  I tell them daily they are special and very loved.   

So as I thought through the privilege I have of being their mum, my rage was tempered with the knowledge that the anger and frustration he has and uses against his own children is caused by the jealousy of the relationship that Chaos and Mayhem have with me.  I am sure that person would disagree, but this is my blog, my thoughts and my opinion.