A new adventure Hobbes?

I was reminded this morning about my adventure plans by my new partner in crime...Hobbes...

Hobbes and I have passed each other in random locations for 2 years...we were at a music festival in 2010 and a medieval festival in 2012...probably passed each other and smiled politely, as you do with strangers. We laugh about this...as well as the million other things that we have in common...no one else in my universe can recognise Gaiman quotes quite like Hobbes. 

Anyway...back to adventures...I consider life itself to be one adventure after another.  This is not a pollyanna outlook...I have been in very dark places where I could not see the light, only shadows.  I think this is why I see life as one huge adventure, happiness is part of the journey, not the end location....should I stop now...hmmmmm...

I had been planning solitary adventures.  When Chaos and Mayhem are those well balanced adults I am trying to get them to, the payoff for having babies when I was young is I will have two adult children at the ripe old age of 42...this is what Douglas Adams means in HHGTTG...and my life is mainly my own.  My bucket list quivering with excitement, the major adventures ready to commence.

My adventure plans are big and small.  There is a mountain or two I want to climb (please cue Sound of Music-esque singing), musical instruments I want to learn (noise cancelling earphones people!), shoes that I want to own (mmmm shoe porn), people I want to meet (Hilary get ready to apply for that restraining order), and a million places on earth I want to visit. 

I know there is a universal scoffing of bucket lists but I think they are wonderful.  When the shadows lurk around me, I look at my bucket list.  I add stuff, I tick stuff off and sometimes things become redundant (not often!). Shrug off your distaste and write your 'adventure list', if that name makes it somewhat palatable.  The darkness crept into my life when I stopped thinking about or planning adventures.  Even the littlest ones.  Life was slipping past me as I wished my life away so I could be free.  So foolish of me.

Hobbes...dust off your list...synchronise with mine...sure some stuff will wait a little longer, but what fun we will have while we plot, strategise and experience. 

Bram Stoker...rockstar in my universe!

Happy 165th Birthday Bram Stoker!

Since the age of around 5, I have had recurring dreams of vampires.  They were and continue to be comforting to me.  The first dream I had I remember the vampire changing into a bat and flying around my room.  As I have grown, so have the dreams, but they still bring me comfort when I have them, even when they bite my neck!

I was 11 when my primary school librarian, who I had been badgering about vampire book for years, gave me a copy of Dracula, saying that she thought that I was old enough to understand it.  (That woman introduced me to a lot of wonderful books and stories, cannot give enough thanks to her.) 

Stoker was the first vampire mythology/universe that I read where the vampire was not pure evil and the anti-hero came into my consciousness.  It also spurred me onto finding out more on the history of Transylvania (woohoo it existed), the Carpathian mountains and delve further into vampire mythos (no they DO NOT sparkle).

Thanks Bram...and I hope that you have a great birthday with the rest of the undead today!

Jealousy...it's a curse

My little baby bird loves pandas, and these little guys are just too cute.  She is in pain today so I am hoping to make her smile a little.

There are a million little things that you have the opportunity to learn as a parent.  Chaos and Mayhem teach me things about themselves, their world and myself daily.  I am not your typical parent apparently...I was told this last night by bigger baby bird and I take that as a compliment. 

I rarely speak of my separation and the person that was once my husband.  I do this for many reasons, most of them because there is a level of dignity in not becoming cliched and whinging about the 'evil ex'....because I am sure that I am 'the evil ex' in their world.  But you hurt my baby birds and I get really angry.  I will not rant about this incident, but the thought pattern that occurred afterwards.

Mothering and parenting Chaos and Mayhem is the biggest joy and frustration that I have ever experienced.  Nothing could have prepared me for the amount of time, energy and resources that I have needed to raise two babies into well-balanced adults (and I am not there yet...).  I am far from perfect, I make mistakes ALL the time.  I raise them with humour, love and I never take them for granted.  I am always thinking three steps ahead, where I can, and watch their growth with wonder and amazement.

I get to see them everyday and I am the person they bring their problems to.  They cry and laugh with me.  I am their confidant and advisor.  I hold their hands when they are sick. I get to watch them in their successes and guide them through their stumbles.  I kiss and hug them every chance that I get.  I tell them daily they are special and very loved.   

So as I thought through the privilege I have of being their mum, my rage was tempered with the knowledge that the anger and frustration he has and uses against his own children is caused by the jealousy of the relationship that Chaos and Mayhem have with me.  I am sure that person would disagree, but this is my blog, my thoughts and my opinion.   

A Few of My Favourite Things

While I write this I am listening to "Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men...check it out peeps!

I like to overthink things...I know you are all shocked and horrified...but sometimes I overthink the silliest things.  Today I watched Joss Wheedon promote Mitt Romney as the candidate for the Zombie Apocalypse...and to stock up on tinned foods...it was fabulous.  But now all I can think about is...wait for it...what to store for the Zombie Apocalypse....

Now as a good Dr is taking care of the weaponry needed for the eventual Zombie uprising, it is left to me to pack everything else needed to survive. 

I started by thinking about what I could live without.  At the top of the list is that stupid Korean dance guy and One Direction.  The problem with this train of thought is that the list of stupid and annoying people that I could live without kept growing and my zombie survival kit was seriously lacking.

But then I seriously started thinking....what could I NOT live without, and I am not talking about people, but things...because let's face it, they are just THINGS. 

1. There is a need for at least 12 pairs of shoes. Beware that number is rising as we speak....

2. I have discovered that I miss my books after the great book purge of 2011.  I would need to pack at least 10 books that I cannot live without and read constantly. 

3. My music collection.  I lost about 60% of my iTunes library in the great separation.  It has taken me years to recollate and order my music collection.

4. My movie collection....same as number 3.

5. Lindt chocolate balls

6. Spam...comes with its own opener

Silliness I know...but I have enjoyed the thought, may you all survive the Zombie Apocalypse...and that number of shoes is now 33!