Just a few philosophical thoughts that have been tossing around in my head in recent months.

Banality

I hate words like nice and cute.  To me they are passive words that are thrown around by people who are at best patronising you or at worst just really not engaged or interested in you. 

“You are cute.”…what, like a ferret…

“That’s nice.”…can you stop focusing on yourself for a moment to listen to and validate me?

Self-worth

Why is it difficult for a person to do something they enjoy, whether they do it badly or not, without being criticised for their ability?  People are held back from trying something new because of a fear of failure.  Isn’t failure never starting?  I tell myself and others that I suck because I am beating the people who will always tell me I can’t.

“you are not 18 anymore”

“your time has passed”

“why would you want to do that”

“you should know better”

“that is awful”

“only children do/act/want that”

It is so easy to hide behind “can’t”…it is comfortable and safe.  Stepping out and saying “I can and I will” takes courage but I believe true happiness exists at the end.

Perspective

For every moment that occurs, there is the truth and then the truth as we see it.  Sometimes being right is not important.  Being right is often just lonely.

Forgiveness

Maybe forgiving is divine, because sometimes it is just so hard to do.  Maybe the first level of forgiveness is to forgive myself for being a flawed individual, embracing that and revelling in life.

Sacrifice

There is no sacrifice when you love someone.  (Almost as cheesy as “love means never having to say you’re sorry…”)

Happiness

I think true happiness is looking at your life and saying “this is where I want to be, in this moment, with these people.  I am not wishing my life away in the hope that around the corner it will be better.  Better is now.  I am content.”

Sorry for being so long between blogging…I had a new life to start…

I'm busy...

Happy 2013 people...sorry that I have been quiet...but I'm busy...

Actually I haven't been busy, I have been having some down time, relax time and fun time, but in the midst of all this I have made time to hold up my end of the agreement.  You see, I have made the big decision to study full time this year, after working my entire adult life, sometimes two jobs, sometimes a job and a full time uni study load, so before my baby birds leave the nest, I have made a monumental decision to cut down my budget and finish my masters this year with no work distractions.

This decision was not taken lightly, and is reliant on two institutions being able to do their jobs also.  One is a university...one is a government department...neither is able to pull their shit together.  So I am now existing in a limbo land and the only explanation I am able to receive for their incompetence is "We are really busy this time of the year..."  So that got me thinking...and guess what...I hate that excuse.  It is an excuse, not an explanation, justification or even a platitude.  It is the excuse that we pull out when we really don't want to catch up with that person or finish that unpleasant task.  If someone actually said "Look, I am not in the mood to have lunch with you today because I just can't be fucked." I would have more respect for their honesty than, "I am just too busy with work/kids/study/picking my nose (insert appropriate excuse here!)" to salve my bruised ego.

In the case of these two institutions, they are expecting me to be happy with their excuse of "this is the busiest time of the year for us with everyone starting classes and expecting payments, you just have to wait."  Hmmmm...colour me stupid (what is that colour actually...) but if you are running a business, and you KNOW that this is the busiest time of the year because you have been in that business for YEARS...don't you think that prudent business planning would be that you prepare for the busiest time of the year.....obviously not.  And as an ex-public servant, I know the Friday afternoon attitude of 4pm is beer o'clock and it can all wait until Monday.  (Please note that I know that not all government workers are this way, and it is my frustration that is lumping all and sundry together at this point in time.)

Adding onto my frustration is that it is seemingly my fault that these things are occurring.  Their errors and failures are being reversed and projected onto me....hmmmm...this is a topic for another time methinks...back to I'm busy.

How many times a day do you say to others...or even yourself...I'm too busy to do that thing.  Then ask yourself if it was something that you actually wanted desperately to do, COULD you make the time to do it...if the answer is yes, then you are not too busy, you just don't want to, and know that the socially accepted reason is "I'm too busy".  Has life gotten busier or have we made it seem that way....I have no answer at the moment, but as I wait in limbo land I will think about this some more.

In the case of these two institutions, I sympathise with you being busy, but I wonder if you think through the ramifications of your actions...people's lives are actually depending on it.